The Resurrection of the MUSE!

So, people ask me or wonder why I don't use my married name.... Well, first I arrived on this planet without really consenting to any name whatsoever. I got given all these names I would never have chosen for myself given a chance under this identity guise - Slave names. Then I grow up under the oppression of my parents rules and way of life....Ma member, I will reply to your question with a question. I already have a list of names I did not have a say to when they were thrust on me. So tell me why should I add another strange name to this already unconsented list of names I already have?

Ok. So today I had an epiphany. Today, I had a wake up call. Today, I promise never to ever complain ever again... Today, I made peace with the fact that I am a villain in the story... Today, I realised I don't have a say or leg to stand on... I left I'm the one who got away I'm the one who broke a heart But am also the one who lost in the end. Today I accept defeat. I messed up. And today I make peace with it all. Let life continue...

It has been a minute. Life keeps moving as usual Sometimes I do move with it, but mostly, I just let it run without me. The catching up is exhausting. But it has to be done. I don't really want to write today. Actually, I do want to write. That'swhy I am here. But what I wanted to write is a bit personal and my brain won't budge. Let's leave it for another day Adios

Ndatopa

I'm sorry mum I'm sorry I found Craig's sisters I'm sorry for my investigative character I'm sorry for everything But did you have to be so secretive? Why did you have to shield Craig from his whole identity? Why???? I'm sorry I probed I'm sorry if you ain't happy But I'm glad your son is happy I found his half sisters. They love him Even in death. They wish they had met him. I would swap places with Craig now so he could meet his other sisters. It hurts so bad knowing he died not knowing them. Life is cruel. I no longer hold a grudge on you mum for not telling Craig sooner about his other family. I no longer blame you for Craig's pain. You had your reasons for not telling him of his true paternity. I'm sure you paid the price every breath you took on earth keeping that secret. It suffocated you. Every time you looked at your son you saw his other family and felt guilty keeping them away from him. I no longer resent you for making tha...

When my big brother Craig told me 17 years ago that he was critically ill, I cried for so long. I haven't stopped crying. I clearly remember that day. I had TJ as a baby on my back sleeping. I knelt down beside my bed and prayed for Craig to get better. But deep down in my subconscious I knew he was not going to make it thorough. I just knew it! When Craig told me he was being moved to the ICU, my biggest wish was to swap places with him So I could feel all his pain. And when he died, I completely lost myself. I cried every day for a solid ten years and plus for a life that was prematurely cut short from us. My soul is still in tears even now. It has been 17 years since we lost Craig. I still wish it was me that died instead of him. He had everything to live for. Now that I found his other sisters, I wish more than ever that it was me that went instead. I miss him. I hope he found peace. I hope he's happy I found his other sisters. Till we meet again big bro. Till later

"When they lie they have to lie again, because the lying never ends" I am listening to Brandy's Truthfully It hits that spot